Why You Shouldn't Erase Memories

A lot of times I get people who ask me if Hypnotherapy can help them erase a traumatic memory. It's usually something that they can't stop thinking about, or something that keeps bothering them. The assumption is that if the memory gets erased, the trauma will too. Unfortunately that's not how trauma works.

In order to understand why you shouldn't erase a memory, you first want to understand what happens during a trauma.

Traumas are more than a memory. When a trauma happens, your mind stores the memory of course, but also all the emotions that you felt, the thoughts you were thinking, the physical sensations that you had, and most importantly, everything that your subconscious thinks might be relevant. That could be the room you were in, what you were wearing, somebody's body language, the food in front of you, a loud sound in the room, a sound in the background, or something entirely different. That's because when traumas happen your mind is in panic mode. It's not trying to process what happened, it's trying to avoid what happened.

Anything and everything that was going on in that moment can become anchored to what happened. Years later, those anchors can bring that memory bubbling to the surface along with the thoughts and emotions that you had at the time. For most traumas, the memory itself isn't what bothers people, it's the emotions, the anxiety, and hurt that come bubbling up with it. Many people assume that the memory causes those things, but it's really the other way around. The memory itself just gives those thoughts and feelings a context.

This is a good thing. Memories are a guide. Memories tell you exactly when and why something started. With a skilled mental health practitioner, those memories give deep insight into how to get better. Without those memories to give everything context healing gets tougher.

These diversions don't just create stress, they cause collateral damage to the people around you as you unconsciously blame your anxiety and hurt on them, and they create more hurt for yourself as you struggle to understand why you're so upset about stuff that doesn't really matter. They prevent you from actually working on the problem. Traumas are often self protecting. When you get close to the source, you may lash out unexpectedly and wonder "Why did I do that?" or "Why did I say that?" Instead of working on the anxiety caused by a car accident long ago, you're working on anger issues. Hopefully, this helps explain just how complex the human mind is, and how detailed the unraveling process can be.